I have to give a lesson tomorrow in Relief Society and I have been thinking a lot about it. The topic is from General Conference, by President Eyring and the title is "Where is the Pavilion?". So funny story: Last week Friday evening I had this dreadful thought that maybe it was my Sunday to teach Relief Society. I had that 'cartoonish' head cold (runny eyes, sniffles, sneezing etc.) I mentioned earlier and was feeling unenergetic and rather whiny if I am totally honest. I decided to call and find out if I was indeed teaching on Sunday and if so, what lesson as I had lost the card that said which lessons were on which dates. Along with losing the lesson schedule card, I had also lost our conference Ensign (which is what I teach out of) and the ward phone directory. Somehow I ended up finding one of the Relief Society (RS) counselors number. I called her and learned that she did not have the title of the talk, but gave me the page number in the Ensign (which I did not have ) and told me who the name of the speaker was. I looked on the LDS website and found the conference addresses, and clicked on the first talk I found by President Eyring. I read through it and decided to sleep on it and prepare the lesson more the next day. The next day was chaotic, with two kids sick, a husband gone for the day and the third child seemed full of mischievous energy. My husband reminded me after he returned home that he had meetings at a church building in one of the small outlying towns and wouldn't be able to help me much get the kids ready for church. At that point we were hoping the sick kids would be better enough to go to church.
As I finally carved out some time to sit down and peruse the talk again, I had this little voice say "Are you sure this is the right talk?". Worriedly I looked on the website and saw that President Eyring had given two talks, both published rather close together in the Ensign....and I wasn't sure which one I was meant to teach with. By then it was 9:30PM and rather than disrupt anyone in the Relief Society's presidency at that time, I called my mother---remember as she answered in quiet subdued tones that it was 10:30PM her time. Apologizing and almost in tears (although I was sniffing a lot from cold anyway), I explained my worry and she (bless her heart!) located her Ensign in the room where my brother and sister-in-law were sleeping to put my mind at ease. Sure enough, I had been preparing the wrong lesson! I thanked her and swallowing my tired frustration, I began to read the new talk. I read the title and boy did I feel a kinship right away!
That night Eli was up coughing a lot and I realized that he would not be able to go to church and since Dallin was also dealing with a cold, it would have been silly to drag them both. I didn't have time to ask for someone to sub for me(church was at 9AM) and so I decided to find someone to come babysit Eli and Dallin while I was at church and would have Preston attend church with another family. Morning came too soon but I took some cold medicine, and asked David to help me find someone to take Preston to church before he left for his meeting. Preston fell apart emotionally when he realized he would be the only Westenskow at church and I was still consoling him as I finally got him at the door with our Home Teacher. Then I tried to quickly get our untidy house in decent enough order for the babysitter. Dallin spit up on me after I had gotten my church clothes on, time was running low and I was frantically trying to console a crying baby and get him to nap, change my clothes and sweep the floors which seemed inordinately dirty that morning. I felt as though my blood pressure had risen a bit by the time I was driving to the church building---praying someone would have an Ensign magazine I could borrow since we didn't have a functional printer anad my Ensign magazine was still MIA. I got to church knowing I was late as I slipped into Relief Society...they were finishing up announcements. Almost immediately one of the counselors came to me and said, "We had a mix up, you are supposed to teach next week, not today...but aren't you glad you are prepared?". I didn't see the humor in that very moment (although know it makes me laugh) and embarrassed, I actually I felt tears spring to my eyes as I thought of all the exhaustion, work (and paying a babysitter!) and stress that had gone on to make sure I could get there to teach, but I was also relieved I could go home and tend to my sick kids and hopefully I would find my Ensign magazine by the next Sunday. I had a chance to pay my tithing and then I drove home--- sheepishly and still a little tearfully yet finally seeing the ironic humor of the situation.
"Oh God , where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covers thy hiding place?" President Eyring reminds us: "In moments of personal anguish, (we) feel that God is far from us. That pavilion that seems to intercept God is far from us. The pavilion that seems to intercept divine aid does not cover God but occasionally covers us. God is never hidden, yet sometimes we are....." As I drove home, I recalled the message of the talk I was supposed to teach and felt a gentle and humorous reminder from the chaos that God was allowing me to remember how those moments feel---when we feel frustrated or unaided (although I had many people help me, husband, mom, RS counselor, babysitter, families to take and bring home Preston) etc often times we are the ones who are not seeing the blessing or the aid because perhaps it is not in the form we expected or looked for. Because of this funny little situation, I was able to feel His love for me, His sense of humor as He knew I would see the funny side in it too. It made me feel closer to my Heavenly Father and in a funny way it even reminded me of my earthly father, who liked playing pranks and how even his death on my birthday seemed a bit like an inside joke we would get to share forever. By the time I reached home, I was chuckling a bit, although still with tears in my eyes and I wanted to say. "I get it---thank you for the reminder. "Thy will, O Lord be done." The Lord's timetable is perfect. If I had not lost my schedule or my ensign, this would never have happened, but in a way it was a funny and sweet reminder that even in these little errands, erroneous or perfect, God wants us to learn and grow. I love that and I plan to.
"Where is the Pavilion?" by President Henry B. Eyring
No comments:
Post a Comment